Mother’s Day is one of those days that becomes very visible in the world around us.

Cards line the shelves in shops. Social media fills with tributes and photos. Restaurants advertise special meals. Schools send home handmade crafts. Everywhere we turn there are reminders that this is a day meant to celebrate mothers.

And for many people, it is exactly that.

But doing the work I do, and simply being alongside people in their stories, I’m always mindful that Mother’s Day can hold so much more than celebration.

For many, it’s a day that brings up a complicated mix of feelings.

Sometimes it’s grief for a mother who is no longer here. The kind of loss that doesn’t change over time, and can feel particularly heavy and present when the world around us is focused on remembering and celebrating mothers.

Sometimes it’s the quiet, often unseen grief of having a mother who is still living, but who has not been able to be the safe, nurturing, or emotionally available parent we needed. That kind of loss can feel confusing and difficult to name, especially on a day that assumes all mother–child relationships are warm and uncomplicated.

For some, Mother’s Day carries the deep ache of a child who is no longer living in their care. A loss that reshapes life in ways words often struggle to capture. You are still a Mother!

For others, it’s the tender place of longing and wanting to become a mother, while navigating fertility challenges, pregnancy loss, or a path to parenthood that hasn’t unfolded in the way they hoped.

And for many adopted people, the day can hold more than one truth at the same time. It might mean celebrating the mother who raised them and offered safety and love, while also holding space for their birth mother and the story that began with her.

Mother’s Day can hold joy and gratitude and it can hold grief, anger, confusion, or longing.

Sometimes all at once.

If this day feels complicated for you, there is nothing wrong with that. Our relationships, our histories, and our losses are rarely simple. It makes sense that a day like this might stir things that are heavy or unresolved.

You are allowed to spend the day doing whatever feels right for you.

That might mean celebrating and leaning into the joy that exists.

It might mean keeping the day quiet and gentle.

It might mean setting boundaries around what you can engage with, whether that’s social media, family expectations, or conversations that feel too much.

Or it might simply mean acknowledging the feelings that are present, even if they are difficult to name.

However Mother’s Day lands for you this year, your experience is valid.

There is space for the many different stories that exist behind this day.